Each year, Kinwell packs its bags for a trip away from the busyness of life to spend time in nature. This May, we went to Hocking Hills, OH to enjoy nature for a few days. Six students traveled with us to spot where cell phones don’t work and the only entertainment is what God has created. My heaven!
Picking students for these trips can be difficult. Most of them want to go but we can’t take many. The students who are the least defiant and most interested in growth are the ones who get to go.This time, both my wife, Crystal, and one of our volunteers challenged me to take Kodie, our most defiant student. They each told me separately, without knowing the other had, and asked if I considered taking him. My answer was an easy no.
I’m glad they convinced me to reconsider.
Kodie came to us as a freshman with a painful past. When he was ten years old, he saw his dad shoot and kill his mom. He moved in with his sister who struggled with alcohol, but she couldn’t provide a safe place for him. His next option was to live with his grandfather.Soon after, Kodie was removed from McCullochJunior High and sent to the Youth Opportunity Center because of the threats he made on the school. Kodie spent ten months at YOC before I got a call about starting his high school career at Kinwell. I still remember staring out the front window in our school hearing about Kodie. They were very upfront about his rough behavior, but optimistic if the right environment shaped his future.
There have been a lot of rough times over the last several years. He struggles with trusting adults, even more so when they’re telling him to do something he doesn’t want to do. Multiple times our staff discussed removing him from the school. He enjoyed disrupting class and shocking the students with the things he would say. He even sabotaged our internet to the point that we had to send students home because we couldn’t get it up again. That happened two days in a row before we tracked it back to Kodie. I was more impressed than angry with that one.
All this to say, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of taking Kodie across the Midwest to live with me for four days. All I could think about was me pulling my hair out by the end of the first day.
As usual, my worries were off.
Kodie thrived on the trip. He led the way on every hike, walking stick in hand, like Gandolf leading us to through the Frey. He focused during our Family Time conversations and was the perfect guy to get our fires going every night. It was amazing to watch him come alive.
Here are his words on the retreat:
“Going to Ohio was a de-stressor for me. It was nice to get away from my house where everyone argues all the time. The Family Times were better for me because it was a different setting with less people. It was fun trying to get good photos on the hikes. They messed my allergies up but it was worth it. It was different hanging out with teachers like that. It was cool to chill with the teachers and get to know everyone better. “
“I kind of got back in touch with myself. I feel refreshed spending time in the woods and now I’m a heck of a lot more motivated to do school work.”
That last quote is definitely true. He’s struggled to earn credits this year and now he’s already almost done with a math class that he just started.
When I don’t spend time with Kodie, he can drive me nuts. I have no patience for him and I want to get as far away from him as possible. Selfish…I know.
When I close the gap between us, my heart breaks for the kid. I’m filled with grace and compassion. It changes the way I discipline him, the way I teach him, and the way I pray for him.
In other words, “Anyone who tries to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.” Luke 17:33
